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Can't Touch This #1
Can't Touch This
I don’t want to touch it.
I really, really don’t.
He’s egotistical, crass, and my patient’s owner—which makes him totally off limits.
Yep, that’s right. He owns the wiener I’m currently working on.
A wiener dog—get your dirty mind out of the gutter.
I’ve also worked on his spoodle, his cocker-shitzu, and a cheagle—don’t ask. (And no, it’s not a sexual position.)
It doesn’t help that he also represents most of my joint-owned veterinary practice’s small clientele. We’d only just opened the doors a few months ago, and in he strode with a yelping Taco Terrier. One haughty look at our sparkling new facilities, he’d demanded royal treatment, even though I was currently finger deep up a squalling tom cat.
Ever since then, he expects me to serve him.
Any time. All the time.
Him and his revolving zoo of dogs.
One of these days, I’m going to swat him for being such a pompous ass but I can’t deny the way he handles his charges makes me want to see past the ‘do as I say and don’t ask questions’ barking exterior.
But then last week…he caught me staring at his um, cough, package.
His bossy commands switched to a cocky smirk.
He gave me permission to do something I promised myself I would never ever do.
I can touch it.
If I want…
I really, really don’t.
He’s egotistical, crass, and my patient’s owner—which makes him totally off limits.
Yep, that’s right. He owns the wiener I’m currently working on.
A wiener dog—get your dirty mind out of the gutter.
I’ve also worked on his spoodle, his cocker-shitzu, and a cheagle—don’t ask. (And no, it’s not a sexual position.)
It doesn’t help that he also represents most of my joint-owned veterinary practice’s small clientele. We’d only just opened the doors a few months ago, and in he strode with a yelping Taco Terrier. One haughty look at our sparkling new facilities, he’d demanded royal treatment, even though I was currently finger deep up a squalling tom cat.
Ever since then, he expects me to serve him.
Any time. All the time.
Him and his revolving zoo of dogs.
One of these days, I’m going to swat him for being such a pompous ass but I can’t deny the way he handles his charges makes me want to see past the ‘do as I say and don’t ask questions’ barking exterior.
But then last week…he caught me staring at his um, cough, package.
His bossy commands switched to a cocky smirk.
He gave me permission to do something I promised myself I would never ever do.
I can touch it.
If I want…
354 pages, ebook
First published September 5, 2016
About the author
Tess Hunter
2 books319 followersTess Hunter is the superhero pen name of a New York Times, Wall Street Journal, & USA Today Bestseller who gave up swallowing her one-liners and decided to write them instead. Her libido scares even her and having an outlet to be snarky, stupid, and sexy while cloaked by incognito is the perfect recipe for naughtiness online and in-between the romance pages.
Pepper Winters is the mastermind behind Tess Hunter. She’s been lucky enough to publish upward of eighteen books, hit multiple bestseller lists, and earn numerous accolades. She does everything in her power to deliver the best book she can. In the past, she used to favour dark heroes and feisty heroines, but now she has a new appreciation for handsome sweethearts and witty girls. Who knows? Perhaps, she’ll be two people now. Two names for two genres of books. It wouldn’t be so bad.
It just means more books, so that’s a plus in any bookworm’s world, right?
Pepper Winters is the mastermind behind Tess Hunter. She’s been lucky enough to publish upward of eighteen books, hit multiple bestseller lists, and earn numerous accolades. She does everything in her power to deliver the best book she can. In the past, she used to favour dark heroes and feisty heroines, but now she has a new appreciation for handsome sweethearts and witty girls. Who knows? Perhaps, she’ll be two people now. Two names for two genres of books. It wouldn’t be so bad.
It just means more books, so that’s a plus in any bookworm’s world, right?
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 493 reviews
February 8, 2017
Ryder <3
If someone told me earlier, one day Pepper Winters (Tess Hunter her pen name) will write a book and it will make you laugh like an idiot, I would said that person "oh pls shut up!" :-D Because never in a million years I couldn't believe it, one day Pepper will do that.. BUT god bless her, that woman always finds a way to surprise me because as may you know she normally writes dark stuffs which I'm addicted her sick&twisted books. Because of that this book really, really surprised me. It was so light and so funny but also it was super sweet and sexy too. I really felt Vesper&Ryder's chemistry and I guess this will make me a creep but I'm so turned on right now. :-D Oh also, he's kinky! Well another reason for me to love him. :) From now on, he's my dream boyfriend. :) Ugh anyway, if you wanna read something will clear your head and something will make you giggling like a school girl, I highly recommend this book to you. And I'm sure you'll love Ryder as much as I did. Have fun! :-D
Ps. Ryder, when you've done with Vesper, I'm volunteer to kiss it, lick it and suck it baby. Pls I'm begging you, I really, really want to touch it!!! :-D I'm on the line for you sweet boy... Don't wait me too long! :)
If someone told me earlier, one day Pepper Winters (Tess Hunter her pen name) will write a book and it will make you laugh like an idiot, I would said that person "oh pls shut up!" :-D Because never in a million years I couldn't believe it, one day Pepper will do that.. BUT god bless her, that woman always finds a way to surprise me because as may you know she normally writes dark stuffs which I'm addicted her sick&twisted books. Because of that this book really, really surprised me. It was so light and so funny but also it was super sweet and sexy too. I really felt Vesper&Ryder's chemistry and I guess this will make me a creep but I'm so turned on right now. :-D Oh also, he's kinky! Well another reason for me to love him. :) From now on, he's my dream boyfriend. :) Ugh anyway, if you wanna read something will clear your head and something will make you giggling like a school girl, I highly recommend this book to you. And I'm sure you'll love Ryder as much as I did. Have fun! :-D
Ps. Ryder, when you've done with Vesper, I'm volunteer to kiss it, lick it and suck it baby. Pls I'm begging you, I really, really want to touch it!!! :-D I'm on the line for you sweet boy... Don't wait me too long! :)
Read
December 27, 2016LIMITED TIME SALE
Only 99c on ALL Platforms!
To celebrate Can't Touch This going LIVE on all platforms, I've reduced the price from $2.99 to 99c. Grab a copy quick because in a few days the price is increasing to $3.99 and staying there.
If you fancy a laugh-out-loud, standalone romantic comedy, give this a go :)
Amazon: http://amzn.to/2d3U6xo
iBooks: http://apple.co/2gPxaT9
Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/2hXB1Oo
Kobo: http://bit.ly/2gAiXX6
Google Play: http://bit.ly/2g853dR
Amazon.co.uk: http://amzn.to/2bRMw88
Amazon.com.au: http://amzn.to/2cqpIcx
Amazon.ca: http://amzn.to/2bW9REg
ADVANCE REVIEWS
“A hero who loves animals? Sign me up!!! Can’t touch this is adorable, zany and sexy fun!” — Lauren Blakely, Queen of Romantic Comedy & New York Times Bestseller
“Quick banter, sexy-as-hell snark, and freakin’ funny moments with a hero and heroine I adored to pieces. Pepper’s rom com debut delivered big time with a steamy, feel-good, FUN story that had me smiling until the last page!” – Violet Duke, New York Times bestselling author
I laughed so hard at parts of this book I cried! This book is the perfect book to put a smile on your face no matter what kind of mood you are in! Seriously would be a book I could see turned into a funny movie! 5/5 stars! Reviewed for Sweet & Spicy Reads
She totally nailed it! The flirty banter, the funny situations and the light hearted feeling is all there. I had a smile on my face the entire time I was reading. 5 Stars Rochelle, Goodreads
Only 99c on ALL Platforms!
To celebrate Can't Touch This going LIVE on all platforms, I've reduced the price from $2.99 to 99c. Grab a copy quick because in a few days the price is increasing to $3.99 and staying there.
If you fancy a laugh-out-loud, standalone romantic comedy, give this a go :)
Amazon: http://amzn.to/2d3U6xo
iBooks: http://apple.co/2gPxaT9
Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/2hXB1Oo
Kobo: http://bit.ly/2gAiXX6
Google Play: http://bit.ly/2g853dR
Amazon.co.uk: http://amzn.to/2bRMw88
Amazon.com.au: http://amzn.to/2cqpIcx
Amazon.ca: http://amzn.to/2bW9REg
ADVANCE REVIEWS
“A hero who loves animals? Sign me up!!! Can’t touch this is adorable, zany and sexy fun!” — Lauren Blakely, Queen of Romantic Comedy & New York Times Bestseller
“Quick banter, sexy-as-hell snark, and freakin’ funny moments with a hero and heroine I adored to pieces. Pepper’s rom com debut delivered big time with a steamy, feel-good, FUN story that had me smiling until the last page!” – Violet Duke, New York Times bestselling author
I laughed so hard at parts of this book I cried! This book is the perfect book to put a smile on your face no matter what kind of mood you are in! Seriously would be a book I could see turned into a funny movie! 5/5 stars! Reviewed for Sweet & Spicy Reads
She totally nailed it! The flirty banter, the funny situations and the light hearted feeling is all there. I had a smile on my face the entire time I was reading. 5 Stars Rochelle, Goodreads
Want to read
September 8, 2016
“…a sarcastic, sexy standalone full of men with big ___” Cocks? Dicks? Penises?
Pepper Winters writing as Tessa Hunter.
Purchase: | AMZ US | AMZ UK |
Blurb:
I don't want to touch it.
I really, really don't.
He's egotistical, crass, and my patient's owner--which makes him totally off limits.
Yep, that's right. He owns the wiener I'm currently working on.
A wiener dog--get your dirty mind out of the gutter.
I've also worked on his Spoodle, his Cocker-shitzu, and a Cheagle--don't ask. (And no, it's not a sexual position).
It doesn't help that he also represents most of my joint-owned veterinary practice's small clientele. We'd only just opened the doors a few months ago, and in he strode with a yelping Taco Terrier. One haughty look at our sparkling new facilities, he'd demanded royal treatment, even though I was currently finger deep up a squalling tom cat.
Ever since then, he expects me to serve him.
Any time. All the time.
Him and his revolving zoo of dogs.
One of these days, I'm going to swat him for being such a pompous ass but I can't deny the way he handles his charges makes me want to see past the 'do as I say and don't ask questions' barking exterior.
But then last week...he caught me staring at his um, cough, package.
His bossy commands switched to a cocky smirk.
He gave me permission to do something I promised myself I would never ever do.
I can touch it.
If I want...
December 17, 2016
This was different, lighter and funny. I utterly enjoyed it. I must say is not for everyone though if you are used to Pepper's dark writing style this one is the opposite. But it was funny and an interesting story.
September 16, 2016
I think this was the only time I gave a Pepper Winters book less than 5 stars but it came pretty close. I really tried to, but the FMC, Vesper, got on my nerves one too many times.
I loved that this was such a departure from what I've come to know and love from this author. There was none of the darkness, no suspense, but the underlying theme of love still remained and boy can this author right about love. This story was light and sweet and refreshing, and the only angst was that which the characters created within themselves.
Ryder...
So swoon-worthy that I have to repeat myself!
He was such a lovable character. So freaking sweet, sarcastic, humble, sexy, gorgeous, generous, compassionate, etc. I LOVED him so much. He had devoted his life to rescuing animals and it only served to further endear him to me. Vesper was a vet who had a huge heart for animals as well. Together they just worked. They fit and their union was almost seamless.
Can't Own This is next and I'm so excited to see what PW has done with it. The blurb for it is so interesting!
I loved that this was such a departure from what I've come to know and love from this author. There was none of the darkness, no suspense, but the underlying theme of love still remained and boy can this author right about love. This story was light and sweet and refreshing, and the only angst was that which the characters created within themselves.
Ryder...
So swoon-worthy that I have to repeat myself!
He was such a lovable character. So freaking sweet, sarcastic, humble, sexy, gorgeous, generous, compassionate, etc. I LOVED him so much. He had devoted his life to rescuing animals and it only served to further endear him to me. Vesper was a vet who had a huge heart for animals as well. Together they just worked. They fit and their union was almost seamless.
Can't Own This is next and I'm so excited to see what PW has done with it. The blurb for it is so interesting!
Read
September 6, 2016It's LIVE!!
Amazon: http://amzn.to/2c7hk2S
Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/2bRMw88
Amazon CA: http://amzn.to/2bW9REg
Amazon AU: http://amzn.to/2cqpIcx
Amazon: http://amzn.to/2c7hk2S
Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/2bRMw88
Amazon CA: http://amzn.to/2bW9REg
Amazon AU: http://amzn.to/2cqpIcx
August 14, 2018
4 Nasty, feral, hot-as-hell STARS
Excelente comedia romántica.
Protagonistas adorables, historia simple y tierna. Buen equilibrio de risas, suspiros y mucha tensión sexual.
Me encanto como escribe Tess Hunter ahora ya tengo muchas ganas de leer algo de su alter ego Pepper Winters
En conclusión: Súper recomendable y quiero un Chiweenie.
"Sex god and puppy superhero."
Excelente comedia romántica.
Protagonistas adorables, historia simple y tierna. Buen equilibrio de risas, suspiros y mucha tensión sexual.
Me encanto como escribe Tess Hunter ahora ya tengo muchas ganas de leer algo de su alter ego Pepper Winters
En conclusión: Súper recomendable y quiero un Chiweenie.
March 16, 2017
3 1/2 rounded up to a 4.
I cannot lie even when I receive free things. This book and I did not start off well (but it did get better!).
Vesper is a young, beautiful woman dedicated to her veterinarian practice. She doesn’t want a man messing up her life. Ryder is a dedicated dog rescuer living off of an inheritance. He drops in whenever he needs assistance because he’s cocky, has a crush on Vesper and her website does say drop-ins are welcome, after all. Vesper is instantly annoyed every time he appears without an appointment and demands all of her attention. He once told her, “If you save my wiener, I’ll bring you 20 more” and he wasn’t kidding. But she’s sick of him dropping in whenever he pleases. They bicker, they make totally unprofessional sexual comments and I was quickly getting sick of both of them. Of course, I’ve also been told that I have no sense of humor. So there is that.
Once he brings in said wiener dog, the wiener jokes start. Now, humor is a very funny thing. What some might find LMFAO hilarious can make someone else go all cringy.
I’ll let the doggies express my feelings.
After I read the first wiener joke I was all.
When it was quickly followed up with another.
And just when I began to think that I was finally safe from the wiener and the salami and all of the hotdogs, a ridiculous thing happens with the wiener and the heroine’s face.
Ok, I absolutely had to get that out of the way. The first few chapters are awesome if you love wiener jokes. I’ve discovered that I do not. I only plowed on because the hero rescues dogs and because I’m so good natured, ha. And do you know what? It got better. It really did get better.
The unrealistic banter calms down, the forced funny scenarios smooth out and what follows is a lusty, sweet confection that I’m glad I continued to read. It even managed to make me LOL at one point. I never LOL in real life. There isn’t a heck of a lot of conflict keeping the two apart and I enjoyed that. There is a lot of coitus interruptus and delayed sexual gratification but that only served to add to the sexual tension and didn’t bug me. Ryder is actually a decent guy who is devoted to his calling of doing good for the animals who need him and it added a level of emotion to the story that worked for me. After the rocky beginning was but a memory, I pretty much fell in love with the rest of the book. I say “pretty much” because there was one irritating bump in the road which I will not spoil. All ends HEA and I’m glad I didn’t DNF after the fifth wiener joke.
Narration Notes: The story is told from both the heroine and hero’s POV and is narrated by two voice actors, CJ Bloom and Eric Michael Summerer, who both do a decent job but because the story is told in the first person it was sometimes a little difficult for me to discern if the person was speaking out loud or thinking to themselves.
Thank you Tantor Media for sharing this audio with me. I hope you don't regret it!
Challenge Update:
Audiobook Challenge: Book #8
HA Mount TBR Challenge: Book #11 Not a TBR
HA Pages Read Challenge
2017 Horror Reading Challenge Book #8 Not a horror novel
See this and the rest of the crap I write at my blog.
I cannot lie even when I receive free things. This book and I did not start off well (but it did get better!).
Vesper is a young, beautiful woman dedicated to her veterinarian practice. She doesn’t want a man messing up her life. Ryder is a dedicated dog rescuer living off of an inheritance. He drops in whenever he needs assistance because he’s cocky, has a crush on Vesper and her website does say drop-ins are welcome, after all. Vesper is instantly annoyed every time he appears without an appointment and demands all of her attention. He once told her, “If you save my wiener, I’ll bring you 20 more” and he wasn’t kidding. But she’s sick of him dropping in whenever he pleases. They bicker, they make totally unprofessional sexual comments and I was quickly getting sick of both of them. Of course, I’ve also been told that I have no sense of humor. So there is that.
Once he brings in said wiener dog, the wiener jokes start. Now, humor is a very funny thing. What some might find LMFAO hilarious can make someone else go all cringy.
I’ll let the doggies express my feelings.
After I read the first wiener joke I was all.
When it was quickly followed up with another.
And just when I began to think that I was finally safe from the wiener and the salami and all of the hotdogs, a ridiculous thing happens with the wiener and the heroine’s face.
Ok, I absolutely had to get that out of the way. The first few chapters are awesome if you love wiener jokes. I’ve discovered that I do not. I only plowed on because the hero rescues dogs and because I’m so good natured, ha. And do you know what? It got better. It really did get better.
The unrealistic banter calms down, the forced funny scenarios smooth out and what follows is a lusty, sweet confection that I’m glad I continued to read. It even managed to make me LOL at one point. I never LOL in real life. There isn’t a heck of a lot of conflict keeping the two apart and I enjoyed that. There is a lot of coitus interruptus and delayed sexual gratification but that only served to add to the sexual tension and didn’t bug me. Ryder is actually a decent guy who is devoted to his calling of doing good for the animals who need him and it added a level of emotion to the story that worked for me. After the rocky beginning was but a memory, I pretty much fell in love with the rest of the book. I say “pretty much” because there was one irritating bump in the road which I will not spoil. All ends HEA and I’m glad I didn’t DNF after the fifth wiener joke.
Narration Notes: The story is told from both the heroine and hero’s POV and is narrated by two voice actors, CJ Bloom and Eric Michael Summerer, who both do a decent job but because the story is told in the first person it was sometimes a little difficult for me to discern if the person was speaking out loud or thinking to themselves.
Thank you Tantor Media for sharing this audio with me. I hope you don't regret it!
Challenge Update:
Audiobook Challenge: Book #8
HA Mount TBR Challenge: Book #11 Not a TBR
HA Pages Read Challenge
2017 Horror Reading Challenge Book #8 Not a horror novel
See this and the rest of the crap I write at my blog.
September 6, 2016
“Sometimes love happens when you least expect. You can’t prepare for it, you can’t be ready. It just happens.” ~Unknown
Love lands on you when you least expect it; you’re not prepared for your life to be altered or your path to change its destination. Sometimes stories cross your path and give you great pleasure when you aren’t expecting them where their releases may be ones of surprise. These stories start as surprises but buried beneath the writing they become the best books and unexpected pieces of pleasure.
Pepper Winters, writing as Tess Hunter, surprises the book world with a bang in the form of Can’t Touch This, soaring in her rom-com debut with a heated, humorous, and heartwarming story of unexpected love. A story that scorched me from head to toe. A story that made my soul soar and my heart happy. A story that stole every part of me.
The inside cover page already had me giggling with the caveat that is not Pepper Winters but so Pepper at the same time.
“Don’t worry. It’s the same person doing strange things as all authors are prone to do. Just sit back and hopefully enjoy…”
When this book landed in my lap as a sensational surprise, I dropped everything to devour Can’t Touch This because Pepper Winters’ writing always speaks to my soul, making it soar to destinations unknown. Written on a whim as medicine to soothe the soul after a great loss, I felt Tess Hunters’ emotions escape from Can’t Touch This to me: angst to awe and humor to heart.
The cover for Can’t Touch this had me drooling where I knew instantly that this book would be different and daring, a unique and out-of-the-box story for one of my favorite authors. Oh did the cover make me want to touch this…a lot. I knew the heat and humor would pour off the pages…and oh did it steam up my kindle and make me light up in laughter. What I didn’t expect is how Can’t Touch This would touch my heart.
Oh did the blurb make me want to touch Can’t Touch This even harder with the first few lines that zapped electricity from the pages to other places.
“I don’t’ really want to touch it. I really, really don’t. He’s egotistical, crass, and my patient’s owner – which makes him totally off limits.”
Hook. Line. Sinker. I was already caught before I read the story, which I already knew would be incredible. Spoiler Alert: Can’t Touch This is so intoxicating and so incredible.
Can’t Touch This took me in its clutches from the very first page, capturing me, claiming me; I was ALL IN. Where Pepper Winters’ other books are drenched in darkness, this one by her other alias, Tess Hunter, is bathed in brightness. I did not have to pause while reading to reign in my emotions left dangling in the darkness like in this authors’ other stories. I devoured Can’t Touch This like a hungry lioness, ready to pounce on the pages like my next meal or the air I needed to breathe.
Vesper ‘Ves’ Fairfax is a beautiful blonde, blue-eyed, and long-legged veterinarian who dedicates her life to her four-legged friends and her human bestie, Polly, leaving no time for the male two-legged species. No time except for the one who keeps bringing a parade of injured dogs to her vet, harassing her, and looking at her like he wants her for dinner.
“Her blonde curls, slightly upturned nose, and damn pixie features meant my cock wanted to visit just as much as doing the right thing by the dogs I cared for.”
Ryan Carson with his hazel eyes, dark tousled hair, and tall and muscular body was sex-on-a-stick. An Adonis who happens to love animals, especially the two-legged vet that he and his rescue dogs must see.
Not even 10 percent into this story, the humor and heat had me eating up the pages.
“I didn’t mean I wouldn’t touch him. Just not that hot dog in your pants that you keep referring to.”
“Hot dog? I’d say it’s more like a giant salami…You can squeeze my salami if you want.”
I’m pooling in a mixture of laughter and lust, still in disbelief that the Queen of Darkness is now the Queen of Comedy. I FELL IN LOVE FAST AND FURIOUSLY after just a few pages.
While Ryan is heated and humorous, the vet has a hot and hilarious streak too where I laughed just as hard.
“He cupped the delicate meat and veg between his legs. It wasn’t just snack size, either. It was banquet – need to go back for seconds and possibly thirds – size. Damn him. Damn his sexy face and alluring cock.”
I may or may not had to fan myself off a few times from these steamy lines that lit me up like a fire scorching below. Oh how has this dirty-talking delight of a man with a heart of gold worn out the beautiful vet, enticing her with thoughts of his salacious salami so she’ll bite and go on a date.
“I liked him. And there was no room in my colour-coded diary for a dirty talker, pooch lover, and gorgeously handsome man. Even if I did want to touch it.”
Ves doesn’t want to like the infuriating man who turns her on at work, but she can’t help what her traitorous body feels. Her brain also can’t help but process every dirty word and look that makes her want to pounce on Ryan like a cat in heat. Temptation never looked so good.
“This wasn’t just a first kiss. This was something explosive. This was dangerous, and it brought things out of me I didn’t know existed.”
The chemistry between this captivating couple – between these pages – ignited like wildfire, burning from the pages to me.
“Now I truly see you.”
Oh how my sweat turned into SWOON. I SWOONED HARD over this unexpected story. I swooned over this unexpected couple. Can’t Touch This didn’t just smoke the story and me with heat; it hit my heart with a bigger impact than I imagined. One laced in lust where love threatened to seep through, one sweet surprise that I didn’t’ see coming.
“We were both breathless as we slowly returned from heaven, floating back to earth. We stared into each other’s eyes and there was so much to say, so much to ask.”
Sex with no strings is easy…uncomplicated. What happens when those strings start to entangle the hearts, throwing emotions into the mix to make a sudden mess?
“This game we were playing had suddenly become endlessly dangerous.”
I FELL IN LOVE with Can’t Touch This, fast and furiously. Sweet and spicy, witty and wonderful, I LOVED this story so much! Can’t Touch This touched every part of me as this unexpected romance blazed my body, lit me up in laughter, and hitched itself to my heart in a story that made my soul soar. Explosive and entertaining like fireworks, and emotionally-intertwined like first love, Can’t Touch Left this left me aching for more.
Pepper Winters as Tess Hunter dropped a bomb of book bliss – a detonation I did not see coming – with her debut, a spellbinding story that rules the romantic comedy genre LIKE A BOSS. The Queen of Darkness is now also The Queen of Comedy and The Queen of Involuntary Thigh Clenches because WOW. Just WOW! I am indebted to Peppers’ light books as I am the dark, the entertaining as well as the emotional, and all that touch me – whether tenderly or tenaciously, hard or soft, happy or sad. Whether writing as Pepper Winters or Tess Hunter, I’m indebted to this authors’ treasured stories for life as they all make my soul soar and heart happy.
5 hot, humorous, and heart-hitting stars
Love lands on you when you least expect it; you’re not prepared for your life to be altered or your path to change its destination. Sometimes stories cross your path and give you great pleasure when you aren’t expecting them where their releases may be ones of surprise. These stories start as surprises but buried beneath the writing they become the best books and unexpected pieces of pleasure.
Pepper Winters, writing as Tess Hunter, surprises the book world with a bang in the form of Can’t Touch This, soaring in her rom-com debut with a heated, humorous, and heartwarming story of unexpected love. A story that scorched me from head to toe. A story that made my soul soar and my heart happy. A story that stole every part of me.
The inside cover page already had me giggling with the caveat that is not Pepper Winters but so Pepper at the same time.
“Don’t worry. It’s the same person doing strange things as all authors are prone to do. Just sit back and hopefully enjoy…”
When this book landed in my lap as a sensational surprise, I dropped everything to devour Can’t Touch This because Pepper Winters’ writing always speaks to my soul, making it soar to destinations unknown. Written on a whim as medicine to soothe the soul after a great loss, I felt Tess Hunters’ emotions escape from Can’t Touch This to me: angst to awe and humor to heart.
The cover for Can’t Touch this had me drooling where I knew instantly that this book would be different and daring, a unique and out-of-the-box story for one of my favorite authors. Oh did the cover make me want to touch this…a lot. I knew the heat and humor would pour off the pages…and oh did it steam up my kindle and make me light up in laughter. What I didn’t expect is how Can’t Touch This would touch my heart.
Oh did the blurb make me want to touch Can’t Touch This even harder with the first few lines that zapped electricity from the pages to other places.
“I don’t’ really want to touch it. I really, really don’t. He’s egotistical, crass, and my patient’s owner – which makes him totally off limits.”
Hook. Line. Sinker. I was already caught before I read the story, which I already knew would be incredible. Spoiler Alert: Can’t Touch This is so intoxicating and so incredible.
Can’t Touch This took me in its clutches from the very first page, capturing me, claiming me; I was ALL IN. Where Pepper Winters’ other books are drenched in darkness, this one by her other alias, Tess Hunter, is bathed in brightness. I did not have to pause while reading to reign in my emotions left dangling in the darkness like in this authors’ other stories. I devoured Can’t Touch This like a hungry lioness, ready to pounce on the pages like my next meal or the air I needed to breathe.
Vesper ‘Ves’ Fairfax is a beautiful blonde, blue-eyed, and long-legged veterinarian who dedicates her life to her four-legged friends and her human bestie, Polly, leaving no time for the male two-legged species. No time except for the one who keeps bringing a parade of injured dogs to her vet, harassing her, and looking at her like he wants her for dinner.
“Her blonde curls, slightly upturned nose, and damn pixie features meant my cock wanted to visit just as much as doing the right thing by the dogs I cared for.”
Ryan Carson with his hazel eyes, dark tousled hair, and tall and muscular body was sex-on-a-stick. An Adonis who happens to love animals, especially the two-legged vet that he and his rescue dogs must see.
Not even 10 percent into this story, the humor and heat had me eating up the pages.
“I didn’t mean I wouldn’t touch him. Just not that hot dog in your pants that you keep referring to.”
“Hot dog? I’d say it’s more like a giant salami…You can squeeze my salami if you want.”
I’m pooling in a mixture of laughter and lust, still in disbelief that the Queen of Darkness is now the Queen of Comedy. I FELL IN LOVE FAST AND FURIOUSLY after just a few pages.
While Ryan is heated and humorous, the vet has a hot and hilarious streak too where I laughed just as hard.
“He cupped the delicate meat and veg between his legs. It wasn’t just snack size, either. It was banquet – need to go back for seconds and possibly thirds – size. Damn him. Damn his sexy face and alluring cock.”
I may or may not had to fan myself off a few times from these steamy lines that lit me up like a fire scorching below. Oh how has this dirty-talking delight of a man with a heart of gold worn out the beautiful vet, enticing her with thoughts of his salacious salami so she’ll bite and go on a date.
“I liked him. And there was no room in my colour-coded diary for a dirty talker, pooch lover, and gorgeously handsome man. Even if I did want to touch it.”
Ves doesn’t want to like the infuriating man who turns her on at work, but she can’t help what her traitorous body feels. Her brain also can’t help but process every dirty word and look that makes her want to pounce on Ryan like a cat in heat. Temptation never looked so good.
“This wasn’t just a first kiss. This was something explosive. This was dangerous, and it brought things out of me I didn’t know existed.”
The chemistry between this captivating couple – between these pages – ignited like wildfire, burning from the pages to me.
“Now I truly see you.”
Oh how my sweat turned into SWOON. I SWOONED HARD over this unexpected story. I swooned over this unexpected couple. Can’t Touch This didn’t just smoke the story and me with heat; it hit my heart with a bigger impact than I imagined. One laced in lust where love threatened to seep through, one sweet surprise that I didn’t’ see coming.
“We were both breathless as we slowly returned from heaven, floating back to earth. We stared into each other’s eyes and there was so much to say, so much to ask.”
Sex with no strings is easy…uncomplicated. What happens when those strings start to entangle the hearts, throwing emotions into the mix to make a sudden mess?
“This game we were playing had suddenly become endlessly dangerous.”
I FELL IN LOVE with Can’t Touch This, fast and furiously. Sweet and spicy, witty and wonderful, I LOVED this story so much! Can’t Touch This touched every part of me as this unexpected romance blazed my body, lit me up in laughter, and hitched itself to my heart in a story that made my soul soar. Explosive and entertaining like fireworks, and emotionally-intertwined like first love, Can’t Touch Left this left me aching for more.
Pepper Winters as Tess Hunter dropped a bomb of book bliss – a detonation I did not see coming – with her debut, a spellbinding story that rules the romantic comedy genre LIKE A BOSS. The Queen of Darkness is now also The Queen of Comedy and The Queen of Involuntary Thigh Clenches because WOW. Just WOW! I am indebted to Peppers’ light books as I am the dark, the entertaining as well as the emotional, and all that touch me – whether tenderly or tenaciously, hard or soft, happy or sad. Whether writing as Pepper Winters or Tess Hunter, I’m indebted to this authors’ treasured stories for life as they all make my soul soar and heart happy.
5 hot, humorous, and heart-hitting stars
September 8, 2016
I am usually not a big fan of romantic comedies, but since this is written by Pepper Winters, I had to give it a go.
Loved it! :)
Loved it! :)
Read
November 9, 2016DNF. More like I'll pick you up another day, in another life. It just didn't pull me in. I don't know...
It was good, though so maybe someday...
It was good, though so maybe someday...
September 12, 2016
Review: Surj
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheHopelessR...
Blog: http://thehopelessromanticsbookblog.b...
Pepper Winters... that name is synonymous with writing very successful dark, twisted romances that wrap themselves around your heart, squeezing the life out of the very organ that keeps you alive. This author likes to give your nerves and emotions a good work out so that by the time you've turned the last page, as much as you feel completely fulfilled and content as a reader, you kinda also feel a little exhausted too, lol. Mrs Winters has also tried her hand at contemporary romance this year and of course, it was an absolute hit, but when she announced (out of the blue) that she had written a romantic comedy, I have to say, I was a little surprised. This author revels in the joys of ripping your heart out and stamping all over it so to do a complete 180 turn and write a book that would have me laughing and giggling, of course I did a double take. However anything she writes definitely piques my interest so I couldn't wait to dive in.
The cover was the first thing that jumped out out me (quite literally ... he he he!!!). It was bold and bright and pretty damn hot. Then there was the synopsis which had an abundance of humour and had me desperate to get to know these two main characters better. Their story looked like one I would definitely enjoy. Then of course there was the beautiful note inside the cover that had been penned by Pepper explaining how this book had come about and how it had helped her heal during one of the worst months of her life. Her note was heart breaking but at the same time, there was an uplifting tone to it and I couldn't wait to see how her written words had helped her overcome such tragedy and loss.
Well, it didn't take me long to "get it" that's for sure. "Can't Touch This" was a book that was light hearted, hilariously funny and full to the brim with sexual innuendo's that left me with a constant cheesy grin on my face. Then there was the sexual tension and the heat." Holy hell fire, did my face burn red with all the hot flushes I experienced whilst reading Vesper and Ryder's book. The anticipation of these two getting it on drove me crackers but I kept going because I knew that when "it" did finally happen, there would be fireworks!!!
From the characters names to the hilarious situations they found themselves in, from the wieners to the chiweenies and of course the banter between Ryder and Vesper, this really was a laugh a minute read. I absolutely loved Vesper's character. She was strong and independent and completely dedicated to the care of the animals that came to her practice. There was no time for men in her life, especially the bossy, standoffish variety. So why was Ryder Carson getting under her skin and affecting her so much? And Ryder, at first glance, he was a bit of an asshole but the more I got to know him and read his POV, the more I really liked him. He was not only sexy as hell with a touch of alpha bossiness but there was also a compassionate side to him and put all of that together and I was swooning like a love sick puppy.
If you're looking for something a little different to read, something light and fluffy and funny, honestly, pick this up. You won't be disappointed. I rated "Can't Touch This" ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheHopelessR...
Blog: http://thehopelessromanticsbookblog.b...
Pepper Winters... that name is synonymous with writing very successful dark, twisted romances that wrap themselves around your heart, squeezing the life out of the very organ that keeps you alive. This author likes to give your nerves and emotions a good work out so that by the time you've turned the last page, as much as you feel completely fulfilled and content as a reader, you kinda also feel a little exhausted too, lol. Mrs Winters has also tried her hand at contemporary romance this year and of course, it was an absolute hit, but when she announced (out of the blue) that she had written a romantic comedy, I have to say, I was a little surprised. This author revels in the joys of ripping your heart out and stamping all over it so to do a complete 180 turn and write a book that would have me laughing and giggling, of course I did a double take. However anything she writes definitely piques my interest so I couldn't wait to dive in.
"I tell you man, women are witches. They have some sort of hocus-pocus that bypasses our brains and turns our dicks into sex zombies."
The cover was the first thing that jumped out out me (quite literally ... he he he!!!). It was bold and bright and pretty damn hot. Then there was the synopsis which had an abundance of humour and had me desperate to get to know these two main characters better. Their story looked like one I would definitely enjoy. Then of course there was the beautiful note inside the cover that had been penned by Pepper explaining how this book had come about and how it had helped her heal during one of the worst months of her life. Her note was heart breaking but at the same time, there was an uplifting tone to it and I couldn't wait to see how her written words had helped her overcome such tragedy and loss.
Well, it didn't take me long to "get it" that's for sure. "Can't Touch This" was a book that was light hearted, hilariously funny and full to the brim with sexual innuendo's that left me with a constant cheesy grin on my face. Then there was the sexual tension and the heat." Holy hell fire, did my face burn red with all the hot flushes I experienced whilst reading Vesper and Ryder's book. The anticipation of these two getting it on drove me crackers but I kept going because I knew that when "it" did finally happen, there would be fireworks!!!
Something tethered me to him. Something strong and undeniable and foreign but familiar. This wasn't just a hug. This was a transition of everything living between us that hadn't found the courage to be voiced.
From the characters names to the hilarious situations they found themselves in, from the wieners to the chiweenies and of course the banter between Ryder and Vesper, this really was a laugh a minute read. I absolutely loved Vesper's character. She was strong and independent and completely dedicated to the care of the animals that came to her practice. There was no time for men in her life, especially the bossy, standoffish variety. So why was Ryder Carson getting under her skin and affecting her so much? And Ryder, at first glance, he was a bit of an asshole but the more I got to know him and read his POV, the more I really liked him. He was not only sexy as hell with a touch of alpha bossiness but there was also a compassionate side to him and put all of that together and I was swooning like a love sick puppy.
If you're looking for something a little different to read, something light and fluffy and funny, honestly, pick this up. You won't be disappointed. I rated "Can't Touch This" ❤️❤️❤️❤️
"Oh may I?"
"May you what?"
"Touch him"
"Touch my wiener?"
She scowled "Yes."
"You've already held him I think your past asking permission."
September 10, 2016
As much I love Pepper's Winter, this wasn't my cup of tea. The hero and heroine were talking like pets. And I couldn't continue after 30%.
And it wasn't hilarious for me.
And it wasn't hilarious for me.
September 6, 2016
[ARC kindly provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.}
Title: Can't Touch This
Author: Tess Hunter (a.k.a Pepper Winters)
Category: Romantic Comedy
Series or Standalone: Standalone
POV: Dual
Plot: 5
Characters: 5
Scorching Level: 5
HEA: Not telling
There are very few authors that I would read anything from. Pepper Winters is one of them.
This book is a hilarious romantic comedy that will make you smile, laugh and swoon. It is a story that comes straight from the author's heart and being an animal lover myself, this book was for me. The author's dedication brought tears to my eyes because I can relate to her sadness over losing a fluffy furball.
Vesper is a vet. Dedication to her job seeps from her pores and she is living her dream.
What puts her out of her comfort zone is Ryder Carson. Demanding and a loyal client, he keeps showing up at her clinic; each time with a different dog. It doesn't help matters that he is attractive.
Explosive chemistry ensues but can Vesper dare touch Ryder's...wiener?
I loved the atmosphere of the book and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I am not a huge fan of the genre but this book spoke to my heart because aside from our main characters, the animals play a big part to the beauty of the story. The banter between Ryder and Vesper is genuine and hilarious and the sexual tension is off the charts!
This book proves that the Queen of dark romance can literally write anything. If you want something light and good for your heart, then this is for you.
5 Stars!
September 8, 2016
I love Pepper Winters and her dark, angst filed stories but I am crushing on her even more as a romantic comedy story teller. Can't Touch This was perfectly and amazingly written... Witty, sexy, sweet and hot! Just what I needed, an easy to devour love story with sexy goodness and corny banter
September 10, 2016
3.25 Stars
September 8, 2016
“I don’t want to touch it.
I really, really don’t.
But then last week…he caught me staring at his um, cough, package.
His bossy commands switched to a cocky smirk.
He gave me permission to do something I promised myself I would never ever do.
I can touch it.
If I want…”
What comes to your mind when you hear the name: “Pepper Winters”???
Dark, twisted, intense, sexy, powerful, angst and a whole lot of other emotions which only Ms. Winters is an expert in bringing out of every reader.
She has always been my go-to author for gritty and dark romances. When this book was announced, I seriously thought that Tess Hunter is a new writer collaborating with Pepper because this story was nothing like anything she has ever written before. I was excited to read something new by this author even through association. And then came the day when I got my kindle copy. I was stunned when I found out that Tess Hunter is actually Pepper Winters and she is trying her hand in a completely new genre. From the moment I started this book I was biased. I loved Ms. Winter’s depiction of an animal lover. This book was full of fluff, sexy and whole lotta fun.
Vesper and Ryder are the funniest, gag inducingly sweet and the most sexy couple that I ever came across in a fluff book. Vesper is a vet and Ryder is an animal lover of the highest order so they were a match made in heaven. And those silly, sexually charged banter between the two was ridiculously funny and super awesome!!!
“Vesper: I just got home. I know it’s past six p.m. but I really need to pick up a few supplies for the pet store aspect of the clinic. I know we said dinner tonight and I’m sorry to mix business with pleasure…but would you like to come?
Me: I like mixing pleasure with anything. Call me a pleasure addict. And by come, do you mean inside you or just accompany you? (If you didn’t guess, I’d like the first one to be the answer).
Vesper: If you come with me to run an errand. I’ll come with you when I make you come later. Enough ‘coming’ for you?
Me: I’ll have to think about it.
Vesper: How about I add an extra appetiser to tempt you?
Me: Go on…
Vesper: If you come with me, I promise you have an open ended invitation to use me in whatever way you wish...to come.
My cock grew grabby hands—literally, if the damn thing could operate a phone, it would’ve ripped it from my fingers and slapped back an answer full of expletives and lots of begging.
Vesper: What do you say?
Me: I say you have yourself a deal. I’ll spend the entire errand thinking up ways to take you up on your offer.
Vesper: And that is why I keep you around.
Me: For my brainstorming?
Vesper: No, your insatiable need to come.
Me: You mean my inexhaustible need to do whatever you want.
Vesper: That, too. Now stop texting me and get your butt over here. I want to bite it.
Me: Sounds painful.
Vesper: It will be if you’re late.”
See, FUN!!!
Ryder is a perfect guy to fall for.He is gorgeous, lives to care for animals (AWW!!! *puppy eyes*), master of one-liners, works with his hands (complete with a tool belt*wiggles eyebrows*), always ready with a sexual quip, sexy, bossy, sweet and loves some kinky roll play in the bedroom!!!*phew* Whats not to like???
This man was the perfect blend of standoffish and so compassionate, it made my heart sacrifice itself onto a plate because how could I resist alpha and puppy at the same time? ~ Vesper”
See Vesper is completely smitten and I am too!!!
Moving on to Vesper. She is a closet “Fiery Hellcat”. Vesper has always wanted something more from her partners but which she never got. Ryder Carson comes in her life like a very much needed spark of life. From annoyance towards the high handed Carson to feeling gooey kind of Love for the passionate and fiercely loving Carson, Vesper goes head over heels pretty fast. And when it came to bedroom antics, Ryder was the living embodiment of her wildest wet dream.
Like all seriously clueless heroines Vesper has her doubts too.
“Shit.
I liked him.
And there was no room in my colour-coded diary for a dirty talker, pooch lover, and gorgeously handsome man.
Even if I did want to touch it.”
But Ryder is not ready to back down and after an accidental face-plant by Vesper on Ryder’s crotch, all bets are off.
“I accept your offer of a date. After all, that’s what your face on my cock meant, right? In some barbarian language, sniffing my man goods is code for ‘take me out, you stud?’”~ Ryder”
“I love your smile, your laugh, your face, your body, your soul, your kindness, your intelligence, your empathy, the way you sleep, the mole on your butt, your vanilla smell.
I love you.”~Ryder
So the characters were really nice, lovable and fun but the plot did not make the cut. Actually there is no plot. This read is a completely feel-good romance with no angst whatsoever. Just a boy and a girl in love and doing some pretty naughty things in bed, against the walls, outdoors, against a tree*wink*
This book is filled with sunshine and rainbows and some exceptionally fun banter. The dialogues made me roll around in bed, laughing holding my belly.
“I tell you man, women are witches. They have some sort of hocus-pocus that bypasses our brains and turns our dicks into sex zombies.”
“Hear that, Vessie? You’ve earned the stamp of approval. You could put it in your passport and say you permanently live in the state of Ryder.”~Polly
I learned quite a lot of synonyms for the male appendage: “Man Wand”, “Sex Stick”, “Hot Dog”, “Giant Salami” ……
The other significant characters were Polly, Vesper’s best friend and Rupert, Ryder’s older brother. They were an excellent pair to be coupled up and Ms. Winters is not letting that opportunity go. The next book will be on the “Rupolly” couple. YAY!!! I can’t wait. The cover is already out and it is SEXY!!!
This book has every kind of dogs that you can think of. Animal lovers will surely be in heaven while reading this book. Ryder and Vesper’s dedication and love towards rehabilitating dogs and cats was amazing. And the fun part was, all the ridiculous names they were bestowed with like “Corn”, “Chip”, “Barb”, “Pikachu”, “Gremlin”, “Visa” and to top it all, Ryder has a cute little piggy named “Ms. Hippo Pigglesworth”*kissy face*
Pepper Winters foray into rom-com is a big hit for me. It was silly, fun, sweet and a great read. Hopefully there will be more plot development in the next book. Apart from that I have absolutely no complaints. I am looking forward to her next books as Tess Hunter. It’s going to be a RIOT!!!
“I can give you all sorts of permission. You can ride it, bite it, kiss it, fist it, cow girl it, wheelbarrow it. Hell, you can even motorboat it. All perfectly acceptable.”~Ryder
“Thanks for the invitations, and I’ll keep a lot of those in mind. However, you forgot the most important one.Thanks to you, Ryder Carson, I now have permission to marry it."~vesper
I really, really don’t.
But then last week…he caught me staring at his um, cough, package.
His bossy commands switched to a cocky smirk.
He gave me permission to do something I promised myself I would never ever do.
I can touch it.
If I want…”
What comes to your mind when you hear the name: “Pepper Winters”???
Dark, twisted, intense, sexy, powerful, angst and a whole lot of other emotions which only Ms. Winters is an expert in bringing out of every reader.
She has always been my go-to author for gritty and dark romances. When this book was announced, I seriously thought that Tess Hunter is a new writer collaborating with Pepper because this story was nothing like anything she has ever written before. I was excited to read something new by this author even through association. And then came the day when I got my kindle copy. I was stunned when I found out that Tess Hunter is actually Pepper Winters and she is trying her hand in a completely new genre. From the moment I started this book I was biased. I loved Ms. Winter’s depiction of an animal lover. This book was full of fluff, sexy and whole lotta fun.
Vesper and Ryder are the funniest, gag inducingly sweet and the most sexy couple that I ever came across in a fluff book. Vesper is a vet and Ryder is an animal lover of the highest order so they were a match made in heaven. And those silly, sexually charged banter between the two was ridiculously funny and super awesome!!!
“Vesper: I just got home. I know it’s past six p.m. but I really need to pick up a few supplies for the pet store aspect of the clinic. I know we said dinner tonight and I’m sorry to mix business with pleasure…but would you like to come?
Me: I like mixing pleasure with anything. Call me a pleasure addict. And by come, do you mean inside you or just accompany you? (If you didn’t guess, I’d like the first one to be the answer).
Vesper: If you come with me to run an errand. I’ll come with you when I make you come later. Enough ‘coming’ for you?
Me: I’ll have to think about it.
Vesper: How about I add an extra appetiser to tempt you?
Me: Go on…
Vesper: If you come with me, I promise you have an open ended invitation to use me in whatever way you wish...to come.
My cock grew grabby hands—literally, if the damn thing could operate a phone, it would’ve ripped it from my fingers and slapped back an answer full of expletives and lots of begging.
Vesper: What do you say?
Me: I say you have yourself a deal. I’ll spend the entire errand thinking up ways to take you up on your offer.
Vesper: And that is why I keep you around.
Me: For my brainstorming?
Vesper: No, your insatiable need to come.
Me: You mean my inexhaustible need to do whatever you want.
Vesper: That, too. Now stop texting me and get your butt over here. I want to bite it.
Me: Sounds painful.
Vesper: It will be if you’re late.”
See, FUN!!!
Ryder is a perfect guy to fall for.He is gorgeous, lives to care for animals (AWW!!! *puppy eyes*), master of one-liners, works with his hands (complete with a tool belt*wiggles eyebrows*), always ready with a sexual quip, sexy, bossy, sweet and loves some kinky roll play in the bedroom!!!*phew* Whats not to like???
This man was the perfect blend of standoffish and so compassionate, it made my heart sacrifice itself onto a plate because how could I resist alpha and puppy at the same time? ~ Vesper”
See Vesper is completely smitten and I am too!!!
Moving on to Vesper. She is a closet “Fiery Hellcat”. Vesper has always wanted something more from her partners but which she never got. Ryder Carson comes in her life like a very much needed spark of life. From annoyance towards the high handed Carson to feeling gooey kind of Love for the passionate and fiercely loving Carson, Vesper goes head over heels pretty fast. And when it came to bedroom antics, Ryder was the living embodiment of her wildest wet dream.
Like all seriously clueless heroines Vesper has her doubts too.
“Shit.
I liked him.
And there was no room in my colour-coded diary for a dirty talker, pooch lover, and gorgeously handsome man.
Even if I did want to touch it.”
But Ryder is not ready to back down and after an accidental face-plant by Vesper on Ryder’s crotch, all bets are off.
“I accept your offer of a date. After all, that’s what your face on my cock meant, right? In some barbarian language, sniffing my man goods is code for ‘take me out, you stud?’”~ Ryder”
“I love your smile, your laugh, your face, your body, your soul, your kindness, your intelligence, your empathy, the way you sleep, the mole on your butt, your vanilla smell.
I love you.”~Ryder
So the characters were really nice, lovable and fun but the plot did not make the cut. Actually there is no plot. This read is a completely feel-good romance with no angst whatsoever. Just a boy and a girl in love and doing some pretty naughty things in bed, against the walls, outdoors, against a tree*wink*
This book is filled with sunshine and rainbows and some exceptionally fun banter. The dialogues made me roll around in bed, laughing holding my belly.
“I tell you man, women are witches. They have some sort of hocus-pocus that bypasses our brains and turns our dicks into sex zombies.”
“Hear that, Vessie? You’ve earned the stamp of approval. You could put it in your passport and say you permanently live in the state of Ryder.”~Polly
I learned quite a lot of synonyms for the male appendage: “Man Wand”, “Sex Stick”, “Hot Dog”, “Giant Salami” ……
The other significant characters were Polly, Vesper’s best friend and Rupert, Ryder’s older brother. They were an excellent pair to be coupled up and Ms. Winters is not letting that opportunity go. The next book will be on the “Rupolly” couple. YAY!!! I can’t wait. The cover is already out and it is SEXY!!!
This book has every kind of dogs that you can think of. Animal lovers will surely be in heaven while reading this book. Ryder and Vesper’s dedication and love towards rehabilitating dogs and cats was amazing. And the fun part was, all the ridiculous names they were bestowed with like “Corn”, “Chip”, “Barb”, “Pikachu”, “Gremlin”, “Visa” and to top it all, Ryder has a cute little piggy named “Ms. Hippo Pigglesworth”*kissy face*
Pepper Winters foray into rom-com is a big hit for me. It was silly, fun, sweet and a great read. Hopefully there will be more plot development in the next book. Apart from that I have absolutely no complaints. I am looking forward to her next books as Tess Hunter. It’s going to be a RIOT!!!
“I can give you all sorts of permission. You can ride it, bite it, kiss it, fist it, cow girl it, wheelbarrow it. Hell, you can even motorboat it. All perfectly acceptable.”~Ryder
“Thanks for the invitations, and I’ll keep a lot of those in mind. However, you forgot the most important one.Thanks to you, Ryder Carson, I now have permission to marry it."~vesper
September 14, 2016
Wow what an unexpected pleasant surprise! This is the first book I read of Pepper Winters and I LIKE IT A LOT. Can’t Touch This literally came out of nowhere. I have not seen any cover or promotion about this and BAM! It came crashing into our book world. This book had me giggling, laughing out loud, and hot and heavy at the same time.
Vesper is a veterinarian. She works with her best friend Polly among other funny/nosy employees. Ryder rescues animals so he constantly shows up at the office unannounced with his injured animals. But soon enough he finds himself coming into the office demanding to see the beautiful, sexy doctor for other reasons than his injured four-legged friends. First impression? Ryder is extremely demanding, crass, and egotistical – not a man Vesper is looking for. But eventually he gets under her skin when he all but plays nurse-mate, taking care of Vesper when she falls sick. And so the flirting, the sex, and a lot of wiener talk begins . That is the best part of the book: flirting banters and sexual innuendos. Over all, I really enjoyed this book – it is light, sweet and hilarious. The banters between those two are witty. The sexual chemistry is blazing hot and steamy. This book is just a sweet romantic comedy, light-hearted, fun, cute, and an all-around feel good story.
So, if you are looking for a little rom com, a little entertainment, a little humor – this is for you!
Vesper is a veterinarian. She works with her best friend Polly among other funny/nosy employees. Ryder rescues animals so he constantly shows up at the office unannounced with his injured animals. But soon enough he finds himself coming into the office demanding to see the beautiful, sexy doctor for other reasons than his injured four-legged friends. First impression? Ryder is extremely demanding, crass, and egotistical – not a man Vesper is looking for. But eventually he gets under her skin when he all but plays nurse-mate, taking care of Vesper when she falls sick. And so the flirting, the sex, and a lot of wiener talk begins . That is the best part of the book: flirting banters and sexual innuendos. Over all, I really enjoyed this book – it is light, sweet and hilarious. The banters between those two are witty. The sexual chemistry is blazing hot and steamy. This book is just a sweet romantic comedy, light-hearted, fun, cute, and an all-around feel good story.
So, if you are looking for a little rom com, a little entertainment, a little humor – this is for you!
March 15, 2017
3.5 Stars
Definitely a change in pace from Pepper Winters's darker side. It was a light, fun read. Loved the banter between Vesper and Ryder. I couldn't have read this at a better time seeing as how we just got a new puppy so I could relate to a lot of the goings on in this book. Well parts of it, anyway. The sex was hawt and aside for some borderline cheesy dialogue, I quite enjoyed it. Bravo on your debut romantic comedy, Ms. Winters!
Definitely a change in pace from Pepper Winters's darker side. It was a light, fun read. Loved the banter between Vesper and Ryder. I couldn't have read this at a better time seeing as how we just got a new puppy so I could relate to a lot of the goings on in this book. Well parts of it, anyway. The sex was hawt and aside for some borderline cheesy dialogue, I quite enjoyed it. Bravo on your debut romantic comedy, Ms. Winters!
September 5, 2016
Such a cute, laugh at loud, corky story! Vesper a vet who loves her job and is annoyed by Ryder Carson who shows up all the time with different sick animals who need help but the annoying part is Ryder is hot as hell! Ryder is cocky, very flirty and humorous and wants Vesper bad but with all his perv jokes and touchiness will Vesper open up her heart and give Ryder a chance? Will Vesper finally find the man she's been wishing for? I laughed so hard at parts of this book I cried! Ryder has my personality with his sick, crazy, perv humor. Vesper I loved her how shy but strong, funny, crazy, loving woman she is! This book is the perfect book to put a smile on your face no matter what kind of mood you are in! Seriously would be a book I could see turned into a funny movie! 5/5 stars! Reviewed for Sweet & Spicy Reads - ARC provided for a honest review ****
February 14, 2021
3.5⭐️
“How quickly can you get naked?” My eyes flared open. “Is that a trick question?”
“She’d been a cow to me first, might as well milk her a bit to see what sort of cream I could earn.
Another bad analogy?
So what, I wasn’t a poet. Suck it.”
My Thoughts: The following are my thoughts about this book:
General:
- Trigger warning: animal cruelty. Off page, but the H rescues mistreated dogs so sometimes there were comments about what happened to the poor animals
- Setting: Thorn River (a tiny town located in Brisbane, Australia)
Characters:
Ryder (29, occupation):
* The following words/phrases were used to describe Ryder: egotistical, no filter, impatient, caring, dirty talker
* Something to know about Ryder:
- His parents died on his 28th bday from a fatal train crash in Spain. They instilled in him a sense of gratefulness and an attitude that all good fortune must be used to help those in need. This is why he rescues pets.
* A quote about Ryder:
- “Warmth filled me. I always got this feeling whenever I was asked to help. I called it the karma blanket. But it was just gratefulness, knowing what I was about to do would change a creature’s life and there was no better thing than that.”
Vesper (24 veterinarian):
* The following words/phrases were used to describe Vesper: organized, intelligent, caring, serious
* Something to know about Vesper:
- A couple weeks ago she opened a vet practice with her closest friend. She lives paycheck to paycheck because she gives all her spare money to help the animal rescue places care for the abused animals.
* A quote about Vesper:
- “But how could I buy a soft blanket when so many dogs slept with nothing? How could I buy expensive cheese for a treat when cats were dying of starvation? Every time I went shopping for myself, I drowned beneath guilt and ended up choosing basic necessities and nothing else. Everything else went to those who couldn’t ask for help.”
Ryder and Vesper Together:
* ”He made me hate being so damn serious all the time. With him I could be stupid and say juvenile things. He offered a break from adulting and that was far too tempting.”
* “She made me set down my rules and seriousness and want to be an annoying idiot with far too much testosterone. She made me crave stupidity that came from no expectations or aspirations—just playing together because we could.”
* “Vesper Fairfax was the holy grail. In public, she was sweet and intelligent. In private, she had a gutter mouth and sexual drive that made me get on my knees. How had I not sensed this minx beneath her scrubs? How did my cock not figure it out like some tuning fork hunting gold?”
Story Thoughts:
- Ryder had a bit of a filthy/dirty mouth and didn’t hold back with how much his 🍆 wanted a certain body part of Vesper's 😉
- The sexual banter and comments seemed just a little inappropriate when there was a "vet emergency" to handle. A couple different times their early conversations ventured into full on sexual banter while the poor animal was being ignored.
- The topic of animal abuse was quite heartbreaking at times
- I liked Ryder’s sense of humor
- The OW drama at the end was a bit out of left field and didn’t work in the story
- Technically there was a story buried under all the sexual innuendos, but the sex comments, highly charged attraction and bedroom scenes were very prevalent and were not always vanilla. The dog collar one with the role shift actually took me by surprise and was a little funny
- When the sex took a backseat, there was an important story here about animal abuse/animal rescue.
- There were some really great one-liners. I had a hard time limiting the quotes below.
Overall, I love Pepper Winters and I’ll read anything from her (even when she writes under this pseudonym). At the beginning of the book she made it clear this was written from a place of healing due to the loss of a beloved pet.
From the author: "this was a healing exercise rather than an intended book to publish. ........this was a book I needed to enjoy for me and didn’t care if it made sense or if the plot was stupid and I missed a few things. This was me having fun. This was me healing. And, instead of locking it on my hard drive, I decided to release as a surprise so you guys could laugh along with me"
So even though this was a silly, over the top story that was high on sexual innuendo and low on story plot, I went into this knowing what to expect. For that reason alone, I enjoyed this book and everything it represented.
Overview:
- POV: Dual POV
- H likable? Yes
- h likable? Yes
- h virgin? No
- First time they kiss: 34%
- First time they sleep together: 50%
- First time they say I Love You 93%
- steamy? Yes
- OW/OM drama? At 90% a woman from Ryder’s past showed up. It was out of left field and not authentic to the story. It was over within pages.
- H/h cheat? No
- Time apart? No
- Did I skip pages? No
- Big secrets? No
- Did I cry? No
- Did I laugh? Yes
- Did I swoon 🥰? Ryder has such a caring heart it’s hard not to swoon when you see how he cares for the broken animals
- Cliffhanger? No
- HEA? Yes
- Epilogue? yes
Quotes
“He was the thorn to my rose; the cloud to my sun. He annoyed me, all right? I didn’t need a reason why.”
“Does he have on/off switch? Can’t he have a second’s worth of patience like a normal person?”
“the reason I’m being a jerk is because I don’t know how to transmit worry. It just comes across as nasty bastard.”
“In some barbarian language, sniffing my man goods is code for ‘take me out, you stud?’”
I groaned. “Oh my God, did you just call yourself ‘man goods’ and ‘stud’ in the same sentence?”
He smirked. “Yep. And I’ve plenty more self-compliments to come.”
“The first time the pigmy pig went near Scar, I’d been petrified. I wasn’t too proud to admit my balls clenched at the thought of the killing machine tearing into my pet piglet like she was honey smoked bacon.”
“Hippo had waddled off in her tinkling bell to bunker down for the night—most likely pressed against a heater. She gave me a damn heart attack every night that she’d somehow slow cook herself and I’d wake up to a roast pork dinner.”
Polly sighed. “Finding a man I trust and could fall in love with seems less likely than me flying to Jupiter and finding a handsome alien to probe.”
“How quickly can you get naked?” My eyes flared open. “Is that a trick question?”
“She’d been a cow to me first, might as well milk her a bit to see what sort of cream I could earn.
Another bad analogy?
So what, I wasn’t a poet. Suck it.”
My Thoughts: The following are my thoughts about this book:
General:
- Trigger warning: animal cruelty. Off page, but the H rescues mistreated dogs so sometimes there were comments about what happened to the poor animals
- Setting: Thorn River (a tiny town located in Brisbane, Australia)
Characters:
Ryder (29, occupation):
* The following words/phrases were used to describe Ryder: egotistical, no filter, impatient, caring, dirty talker
* Something to know about Ryder:
- His parents died on his 28th bday from a fatal train crash in Spain. They instilled in him a sense of gratefulness and an attitude that all good fortune must be used to help those in need. This is why he rescues pets.
* A quote about Ryder:
- “Warmth filled me. I always got this feeling whenever I was asked to help. I called it the karma blanket. But it was just gratefulness, knowing what I was about to do would change a creature’s life and there was no better thing than that.”
Vesper (24 veterinarian):
* The following words/phrases were used to describe Vesper: organized, intelligent, caring, serious
* Something to know about Vesper:
- A couple weeks ago she opened a vet practice with her closest friend. She lives paycheck to paycheck because she gives all her spare money to help the animal rescue places care for the abused animals.
* A quote about Vesper:
- “But how could I buy a soft blanket when so many dogs slept with nothing? How could I buy expensive cheese for a treat when cats were dying of starvation? Every time I went shopping for myself, I drowned beneath guilt and ended up choosing basic necessities and nothing else. Everything else went to those who couldn’t ask for help.”
Ryder and Vesper Together:
* ”He made me hate being so damn serious all the time. With him I could be stupid and say juvenile things. He offered a break from adulting and that was far too tempting.”
* “She made me set down my rules and seriousness and want to be an annoying idiot with far too much testosterone. She made me crave stupidity that came from no expectations or aspirations—just playing together because we could.”
* “Vesper Fairfax was the holy grail. In public, she was sweet and intelligent. In private, she had a gutter mouth and sexual drive that made me get on my knees. How had I not sensed this minx beneath her scrubs? How did my cock not figure it out like some tuning fork hunting gold?”
Story Thoughts:
- Ryder had a bit of a filthy/dirty mouth and didn’t hold back with how much his 🍆 wanted a certain body part of Vesper's 😉
- The sexual banter and comments seemed just a little inappropriate when there was a "vet emergency" to handle. A couple different times their early conversations ventured into full on sexual banter while the poor animal was being ignored.
- The topic of animal abuse was quite heartbreaking at times
- I liked Ryder’s sense of humor
- The OW drama at the end was a bit out of left field and didn’t work in the story
- Technically there was a story buried under all the sexual innuendos, but the sex comments, highly charged attraction and bedroom scenes were very prevalent and were not always vanilla. The dog collar one with the role shift actually took me by surprise and was a little funny
- When the sex took a backseat, there was an important story here about animal abuse/animal rescue.
- There were some really great one-liners. I had a hard time limiting the quotes below.
Overall, I love Pepper Winters and I’ll read anything from her (even when she writes under this pseudonym). At the beginning of the book she made it clear this was written from a place of healing due to the loss of a beloved pet.
From the author: "this was a healing exercise rather than an intended book to publish. ........this was a book I needed to enjoy for me and didn’t care if it made sense or if the plot was stupid and I missed a few things. This was me having fun. This was me healing. And, instead of locking it on my hard drive, I decided to release as a surprise so you guys could laugh along with me"
So even though this was a silly, over the top story that was high on sexual innuendo and low on story plot, I went into this knowing what to expect. For that reason alone, I enjoyed this book and everything it represented.
Overview:
- POV: Dual POV
- H likable? Yes
- h likable? Yes
- h virgin? No
- First time they kiss: 34%
- First time they sleep together: 50%
- First time they say I Love You 93%
- steamy? Yes
- OW/OM drama? At 90% a woman from Ryder’s past showed up. It was out of left field and not authentic to the story. It was over within pages.
- H/h cheat? No
- Time apart? No
- Did I skip pages? No
- Big secrets? No
- Did I cry? No
- Did I laugh? Yes
- Did I swoon 🥰? Ryder has such a caring heart it’s hard not to swoon when you see how he cares for the broken animals
- Cliffhanger? No
- HEA? Yes
- Epilogue? yes
Quotes
“He was the thorn to my rose; the cloud to my sun. He annoyed me, all right? I didn’t need a reason why.”
“Does he have on/off switch? Can’t he have a second’s worth of patience like a normal person?”
“the reason I’m being a jerk is because I don’t know how to transmit worry. It just comes across as nasty bastard.”
“In some barbarian language, sniffing my man goods is code for ‘take me out, you stud?’”
I groaned. “Oh my God, did you just call yourself ‘man goods’ and ‘stud’ in the same sentence?”
He smirked. “Yep. And I’ve plenty more self-compliments to come.”
“The first time the pigmy pig went near Scar, I’d been petrified. I wasn’t too proud to admit my balls clenched at the thought of the killing machine tearing into my pet piglet like she was honey smoked bacon.”
“Hippo had waddled off in her tinkling bell to bunker down for the night—most likely pressed against a heater. She gave me a damn heart attack every night that she’d somehow slow cook herself and I’d wake up to a roast pork dinner.”
Polly sighed. “Finding a man I trust and could fall in love with seems less likely than me flying to Jupiter and finding a handsome alien to probe.”
October 17, 2016
I have no words for such talents. Pepper Winters has outdone herself in this release.
“Tell you that the past few months you’ve given me something that I haven’t had in a very long time. That I can be myself with you. I can play around and your snooty responses make me so fucking hard.”
Since she wrote all my favorite dark novels, I didn't expect this type from her but she blew me away. I loved all the elements in this book from writing to characters to plot. And I can't wait to read more rom/com from her.
“This man was the perfect blend of standoffish and so compassionate, it made my heart sacrifice itself onto a plate because how could I resist alpha and puppy at the same time?”
September 12, 2016
I won't lie, when I opened the ARC for the first time and read the first paragraph, I giggled and hubby leaned over and read it as well and rolled his eyes; which made me think “Pepper/Tess has knocked it out of the park!” But sadly that's the best it got for me. Shortly thereafter I almost threw in the towel and DNF but as a Pepper fan I trudged on. Let me state this first, I'm a huge CR lover and when I want to go dark, my go-to is Pepper Winters. When I saw she wrote this rom-com (her words) and used a new pen name (Tess Hunter) I couldn't wait to read it and as you saw from the beginning of this review, it had a promising start but also as I said, it quickly went down hill for me.
The premise is two girl-friends from college become animal vets and start a practice together. All is normal except for this sexy mean guy who rescues dogs and brings the poor creatures to her clinic for help and pays handsomely for it but the girls don't seem to have a professional bone in their body. From the opening lines, the two act more like teenagers with a crush. They literally giggle while a poor neglected animal who is literally starving to death is being carried in the clinic like a football and made to wait while the two “professionals” decide who will deal with the angry sexy man because he doesn't have an appointment and even though "walk-in's" are welcome, he has to shout to get assistance for the dog – WTF kinda vet clinic is that?!? I wouldn't be taking my animals there, small town or not.
Yeah and it just gets worse …..
Soon the childish jokes, the Vet neglecting an in pain animal to flirt with the hero, the gold digging ex-girlfriend who shows up in the end to add some drama, the cheesy lines, the convenient sexy brother to hook up with the left behind BFF/other vet……all just became too much, too over the top.
I didn't buy the characters, I didn't buy the insta-love, I didn't buy the “I'm an outsider in a small town” but I'll buy the rundown mansion on the hill and fix it up myself (boo-freaking-hoo), or the altruism of the main characters’ animal love only to neglect the poor creatures basic needs when lust is on the brain or the never ending elementary school dirty jokes and innuendos.
I highly recommend Pepper Winters for really Dark Romance but the fluffy light romance is not her forte or at least not in this freshman book.
The premise is two girl-friends from college become animal vets and start a practice together. All is normal except for this sexy mean guy who rescues dogs and brings the poor creatures to her clinic for help and pays handsomely for it but the girls don't seem to have a professional bone in their body. From the opening lines, the two act more like teenagers with a crush. They literally giggle while a poor neglected animal who is literally starving to death is being carried in the clinic like a football and made to wait while the two “professionals” decide who will deal with the angry sexy man because he doesn't have an appointment and even though "walk-in's" are welcome, he has to shout to get assistance for the dog – WTF kinda vet clinic is that?!? I wouldn't be taking my animals there, small town or not.
Yeah and it just gets worse …..
Soon the childish jokes, the Vet neglecting an in pain animal to flirt with the hero, the gold digging ex-girlfriend who shows up in the end to add some drama, the cheesy lines, the convenient sexy brother to hook up with the left behind BFF/other vet……all just became too much, too over the top.
I didn't buy the characters, I didn't buy the insta-love, I didn't buy the “I'm an outsider in a small town” but I'll buy the rundown mansion on the hill and fix it up myself (boo-freaking-hoo), or the altruism of the main characters’ animal love only to neglect the poor creatures basic needs when lust is on the brain or the never ending elementary school dirty jokes and innuendos.
I highly recommend Pepper Winters for really Dark Romance but the fluffy light romance is not her forte or at least not in this freshman book.
September 13, 2016
So this book was something different from this author. She usually writes rather dark books (as Pepper Winters), which I love so much. This one, though, is a romantic comedy. I'm more into dark romance but I enjoy a funny book from time to time.
I liked this book, I really did but that was it. I didn't fully love this one but I did laugh my ass off. Some things in the story were just so damn funny. And of course the animals in it stole my heart. I also liked the banter between Vesper and Ryder a lot. Also, there were some serious hot sex scenes (which didn't really surprise me). I also really liked Vesper's best friend Polly. She was SO great!
Some things I didn't like was the random appearance (and drama) of Ryder's ex. I don't want to get too much into it but I feel like the story could've done without that. It was kind of unnessecary in my opinion. But still, I'm pretty excited about the next book which I hope will be about Polly.
Overall, Can't Touch This by Tess Hunter was hilarious, sexy and I thought the animal love in it was so great. Although I didn't love it like some of the author's other books, I definitely liked it and would recommend it to people who adore animals like I do and enjoy books that make them laugh out loud.
I liked this book, I really did but that was it. I didn't fully love this one but I did laugh my ass off. Some things in the story were just so damn funny. And of course the animals in it stole my heart. I also liked the banter between Vesper and Ryder a lot. Also, there were some serious hot sex scenes (which didn't really surprise me). I also really liked Vesper's best friend Polly. She was SO great!
Some things I didn't like was the random appearance (and drama) of Ryder's ex. I don't want to get too much into it but I feel like the story could've done without that. It was kind of unnessecary in my opinion. But still, I'm pretty excited about the next book which I hope will be about Polly.
Overall, Can't Touch This by Tess Hunter was hilarious, sexy and I thought the animal love in it was so great. Although I didn't love it like some of the author's other books, I definitely liked it and would recommend it to people who adore animals like I do and enjoy books that make them laugh out loud.
October 10, 2016
This was a sweet and pretty simple romance. No real OM or OW drama. the hero and heroine were devoted to one another throughout and neither was a man/woman whore. the sexual chemistry was steamy. I defiantly recommend to animal lovers.
January 8, 2017
Never laughed so hard until I read this book!
This book had me rolling the whole time. This is going to be in my top favorite reads this year. If your looking so something super hot and hilarious you found it right here. Ryder is my most favorite character.
This book had me rolling the whole time. This is going to be in my top favorite reads this year. If your looking so something super hot and hilarious you found it right here. Ryder is my most favorite character.
September 21, 2019
As Tess Hunter, dark romance writer Pepper Winters ventures into a very different genre and aces it. Can’t Touch This is a silly, funny romance that could’ve been a complete miss if not for the powerful emotions coursing through the whole story. It may be an easy read, but it’s an unforgettable one.
Recommended for everyone. Seriously. Read this if you want a lighthearted read, a slightly emotional one, a funny one, a relaxing one… You won’t regret it.
When I first opened Can’t Touch This, I didn’t know what to expect. Pepper Winters is one of my all-time favourite authors for her dark romances, books that make you shake and cry all the way. But this time, she needed to write something lighter, sweeter, and so I was curious. What happens when an author known for her grit and darkness tries to write a silly, romantic comedy ?
Well, a book like this one happens.
The very first lines of the story give the tone immediately : it’s going to be funny, sweet, full of over-the-top banter and one-liners, and crackling with sexual tension between the main characters, Vesper and Ryder.
Vesper is a workaholic, generous vet who has been taking care of Ryder’s rescued dogs for a few months when we meet them. She is the typical shy, nerdy girl, but at the same time she has an innate kindness and a strong side of crazy… which is good, because so does Ryder.
Our other lead character honestly kept cracking me up. He has a one-track mind that is either focused on his dog or Vesper. He is as generous as she is, taking care of abused dogs, fixing everything he can, bringing life back to whatever he can - whether his four-legged friends, his house, or his vet.
The banter and tension between them was crazily funny, seeing as they both have quite the weird mind. I laughed aloud both at their conversations and their thoughts. Some of their inner remarks were hilarious. Besides, they both use the mixed-up names for half-breed dogs, which adds to the weirdness of it all (really ? A Chiweenie ?)
This allows me to talk about the dogs and, overall, the pets. Since they’re respectively a vet and a rescuer of pets, the animals are a big part of the book. And in my opinion, it’s what makes it more than a simple snarky, silly romance. It adds a very simple and yet very strong emotional side to the whole story. Yes, Vesper and Ryder have quite the sexual tension going on, but it’s almost a side bonus compared to the connexion they have whenever they deal with their animals. They both have this incredible generosity towards the pets they take care of. And the pure love the rescued dogs, cats (and Hippo) have for both our characters is present throughout the whole book too.
It makes for some very strong emotional moments, moments that anyone who’s ever had a pet knows and will know. As a vet/rescuer duo, Vesper and Ryder show us both the good and the bad : the birth of tiny bundles of joy, the pain of broken bones for our pets, the usual check-ups for our friends, the anger at how some of them are treated, the happiness when playing with them, the pure love between animals and owners, and finally the sorrow when it’s time for them to leave.
It’s in this aspect that you see how much this book meant for the author. I’ll let you read the preface yourself, but I thought it was obvious how Pepper Winters had poured her emotions in Can’t Touch This. She was way more present as a person than she usually is in her other work. And while it might not have worked for dark romance, here it put the book into a whole new level of awesomeness.
What I enjoyed was that Can’t Touch This became something more without pretending to. It’s a DIY cover for an over-the-top romantic comedy, with crazy characters who never even pretend they’re perfect, with a storyline that doesn’t look for insane twists; and yet it’s so much more. Ryder and Vesper are perfect together, even if they’re not on they’re own. They have an incredibly well-written connexion both with each other and the animals they help so much.
It could’ve been a simple silly book, one that you read, enjoy, and don’t remember the next day. Somehow, under her new pen name, Pepper Winters managed to turn it into an incredible, unforgettable ride.
Arc kindly send by the author in exchange of a fair review.
Recommended for everyone. Seriously. Read this if you want a lighthearted read, a slightly emotional one, a funny one, a relaxing one… You won’t regret it.
When I first opened Can’t Touch This, I didn’t know what to expect. Pepper Winters is one of my all-time favourite authors for her dark romances, books that make you shake and cry all the way. But this time, she needed to write something lighter, sweeter, and so I was curious. What happens when an author known for her grit and darkness tries to write a silly, romantic comedy ?
Well, a book like this one happens.
The very first lines of the story give the tone immediately : it’s going to be funny, sweet, full of over-the-top banter and one-liners, and crackling with sexual tension between the main characters, Vesper and Ryder.
Vesper is a workaholic, generous vet who has been taking care of Ryder’s rescued dogs for a few months when we meet them. She is the typical shy, nerdy girl, but at the same time she has an innate kindness and a strong side of crazy… which is good, because so does Ryder.
Our other lead character honestly kept cracking me up. He has a one-track mind that is either focused on his dog or Vesper. He is as generous as she is, taking care of abused dogs, fixing everything he can, bringing life back to whatever he can - whether his four-legged friends, his house, or his vet.
The banter and tension between them was crazily funny, seeing as they both have quite the weird mind. I laughed aloud both at their conversations and their thoughts. Some of their inner remarks were hilarious. Besides, they both use the mixed-up names for half-breed dogs, which adds to the weirdness of it all (really ? A Chiweenie ?)
This allows me to talk about the dogs and, overall, the pets. Since they’re respectively a vet and a rescuer of pets, the animals are a big part of the book. And in my opinion, it’s what makes it more than a simple snarky, silly romance. It adds a very simple and yet very strong emotional side to the whole story. Yes, Vesper and Ryder have quite the sexual tension going on, but it’s almost a side bonus compared to the connexion they have whenever they deal with their animals. They both have this incredible generosity towards the pets they take care of. And the pure love the rescued dogs, cats (and Hippo) have for both our characters is present throughout the whole book too.
It makes for some very strong emotional moments, moments that anyone who’s ever had a pet knows and will know. As a vet/rescuer duo, Vesper and Ryder show us both the good and the bad : the birth of tiny bundles of joy, the pain of broken bones for our pets, the usual check-ups for our friends, the anger at how some of them are treated, the happiness when playing with them, the pure love between animals and owners, and finally the sorrow when it’s time for them to leave.
It’s in this aspect that you see how much this book meant for the author. I’ll let you read the preface yourself, but I thought it was obvious how Pepper Winters had poured her emotions in Can’t Touch This. She was way more present as a person than she usually is in her other work. And while it might not have worked for dark romance, here it put the book into a whole new level of awesomeness.
What I enjoyed was that Can’t Touch This became something more without pretending to. It’s a DIY cover for an over-the-top romantic comedy, with crazy characters who never even pretend they’re perfect, with a storyline that doesn’t look for insane twists; and yet it’s so much more. Ryder and Vesper are perfect together, even if they’re not on they’re own. They have an incredibly well-written connexion both with each other and the animals they help so much.
It could’ve been a simple silly book, one that you read, enjoy, and don’t remember the next day. Somehow, under her new pen name, Pepper Winters managed to turn it into an incredible, unforgettable ride.
Arc kindly send by the author in exchange of a fair review.
September 7, 2016
You can't ever ever hide a genius. Pepper could write under pen name - Princess Consuela Banana Hammock and still be recognised for the sheer perfection of the story. Her furry baby died and she poured her heart out in this rom-com about a vet and an animal saviour . What a fantastic , funny, laugh-out-loud sweet little story it is.
Vesper Carla Fairfax is a struggling vet, she's passionate, committed and driven to save every abused , sick , hurting animal she comes across. Ryder Carson is her most lucrative customer, rescuing all sorts of animals from neglected , abusive environment. In a small fist sized town, it was but natural that they'd meet so frequently and fall in love. One time she literally face plants herself in his crotch! Thereon starts the witty , absolutely hilarious banter between them.
“Can I touch your wiener, Mr. Carson.”
"My pussy found the stash of catnip balls you hid under the couch".
The cheesy double entendres had me giggling throughout the story. It's a sweet short story , their love progresses , hits a tiny rough patch but they're both sensible to quickly resolve it and they have their syrupy happy ending .
I saw a man who had a fascination with fixing broken things. Dogs. Houses. Maybe even humans, too. I hadn’t been broken, but I had forgotten how to laugh; how to ask myself what I truly wanted.
I’m not a boy and you’re not a girl. We’re adults doing adult things. We fuck and go to work and juggle hard as hell lives while doing our best to remember how to be stupid and fun.”
It's a weird zoo of animals Ryde rescues . Dogs , cats , a pig or two
She gave me a damn heart attack every night that she’d somehow slow cook herself and I’d wake up to a roast pork dinner.
The sex scenes are ...OHFG scorching hot , esp the one by the river ...ooooooooh
Gave me “Tangled fallopian tubes? Jackhammering uterus?”
These a perfect Pepper touch throughout the story, very smart, intelligent writing with just the exact amount of angst and a whole lot of fun , passion , red hot screaming sex and soul mate love
I loved loved loved it.
The moment he fisted my hair, consumed my lips, and thrust into me, I was one hundred percent complete.
I was exactly where I was meant to be.
With exactly the person I was meant to be with.
We were done searching.
We were home.
We were two compatible people making love against a tree.
A girl with a boy on a river bank.
Vesper Carla Fairfax is a struggling vet, she's passionate, committed and driven to save every abused , sick , hurting animal she comes across. Ryder Carson is her most lucrative customer, rescuing all sorts of animals from neglected , abusive environment. In a small fist sized town, it was but natural that they'd meet so frequently and fall in love. One time she literally face plants herself in his crotch! Thereon starts the witty , absolutely hilarious banter between them.
“Can I touch your wiener, Mr. Carson.”
"My pussy found the stash of catnip balls you hid under the couch".
The cheesy double entendres had me giggling throughout the story. It's a sweet short story , their love progresses , hits a tiny rough patch but they're both sensible to quickly resolve it and they have their syrupy happy ending .
I saw a man who had a fascination with fixing broken things. Dogs. Houses. Maybe even humans, too. I hadn’t been broken, but I had forgotten how to laugh; how to ask myself what I truly wanted.
I’m not a boy and you’re not a girl. We’re adults doing adult things. We fuck and go to work and juggle hard as hell lives while doing our best to remember how to be stupid and fun.”
It's a weird zoo of animals Ryde rescues . Dogs , cats , a pig or two
She gave me a damn heart attack every night that she’d somehow slow cook herself and I’d wake up to a roast pork dinner.
The sex scenes are ...OHFG scorching hot , esp the one by the river ...ooooooooh
Gave me “Tangled fallopian tubes? Jackhammering uterus?”
These a perfect Pepper touch throughout the story, very smart, intelligent writing with just the exact amount of angst and a whole lot of fun , passion , red hot screaming sex and soul mate love
I loved loved loved it.
The moment he fisted my hair, consumed my lips, and thrust into me, I was one hundred percent complete.
I was exactly where I was meant to be.
With exactly the person I was meant to be with.
We were done searching.
We were home.
We were two compatible people making love against a tree.
A girl with a boy on a river bank.
September 7, 2016
Awesome romantic story that has such humor and love with a bit of angst thrown in. What was so sweet is it has a theme built in around animals , which being an animal lover myself, I totally adored. Vesper is a vet and totally rocks at her job because of her love for the animals. Only thing is , she has this client, Ryder Carson , who is quite bothersome because he is always around. He is so cocky and very flirty and in her face. Very distracting for Vesper because she doesn’t know how to respond at times—she doesn’t know if he is coming on to her or if he is just a touchy feely gentleman.
Ryder knows one thing- he wants the sexy, sweet and innocent vet but she gives off the “hands off” signals. No problem for Ryder, he likes challenges and she is going to be his greatest. These two have the sweetest and hottest courtship in the book. The humor and the banter is entertaining while the storyline is light and sweet, which is different considering the author is Pepper Winters writing as Tess Hunter and she is known for writing some pretty dark novels while this book is very light, sweet and romantic, not a dark cloud in sight. Not to say there isn’t some angst, what romance novel doesn’t have some but this is pretty funny and the flow of the story is spot on. You will be able to connect with the characters right away and the story line with the animals will spark a chord in everyone. I really loved this book and can’t wait to see what Ms. Winters aka Ms Hunter has next coming out.
My rating: 4.6 stars ****
**I was given an ARC by the author in exchange for an honest review***
Ryder knows one thing- he wants the sexy, sweet and innocent vet but she gives off the “hands off” signals. No problem for Ryder, he likes challenges and she is going to be his greatest. These two have the sweetest and hottest courtship in the book. The humor and the banter is entertaining while the storyline is light and sweet, which is different considering the author is Pepper Winters writing as Tess Hunter and she is known for writing some pretty dark novels while this book is very light, sweet and romantic, not a dark cloud in sight. Not to say there isn’t some angst, what romance novel doesn’t have some but this is pretty funny and the flow of the story is spot on. You will be able to connect with the characters right away and the story line with the animals will spark a chord in everyone. I really loved this book and can’t wait to see what Ms. Winters aka Ms Hunter has next coming out.
My rating: 4.6 stars ****
**I was given an ARC by the author in exchange for an honest review***
September 10, 2016
I can honestly say, I didn't want to finish this book.
While I'm a huge fan of Pepper Winters, being funny is not something she is good at. I didn't laugh once in this book. In fact, I found myself more disgusted than anything. I mean seriously, there is a bleeding, broken dog in Ryder's house and instead of checking on him, you're outside making out, contemplating having sex? Poor dog! And the wiener jokes? Um, you have a malnourished dog in your hand that is shaking...Are you really going to force the vet to say something completely inappropriate before you allow her to help this poor creature?
And the conflict? There really isn't any besides he wanting nothing to do with him in the beginning (which quickly ends) and the issue with Michelle (that literally lasts two chapters tops near the end).
This book had potential, but there was no consistency. They love and give up almost everything for these animals, yet sex makes them forget that they love them enough to help them first before slipping between the sheets? It's completely unbelievable.
I thought this would be a fun read to take the edge off my serious life, but all it did was make me thankful I got this through Prime Unlimited rather than spending my own money on it.
Pepper Winters, there is no doubt I will continue to buy your books, but Tess Hunter isn't taking up anymore of my time.
While I'm a huge fan of Pepper Winters, being funny is not something she is good at. I didn't laugh once in this book. In fact, I found myself more disgusted than anything. I mean seriously, there is a bleeding, broken dog in Ryder's house and instead of checking on him, you're outside making out, contemplating having sex? Poor dog! And the wiener jokes? Um, you have a malnourished dog in your hand that is shaking...Are you really going to force the vet to say something completely inappropriate before you allow her to help this poor creature?
And the conflict? There really isn't any besides he wanting nothing to do with him in the beginning (which quickly ends) and the issue with Michelle (that literally lasts two chapters tops near the end).
This book had potential, but there was no consistency. They love and give up almost everything for these animals, yet sex makes them forget that they love them enough to help them first before slipping between the sheets? It's completely unbelievable.
I thought this would be a fun read to take the edge off my serious life, but all it did was make me thankful I got this through Prime Unlimited rather than spending my own money on it.
Pepper Winters, there is no doubt I will continue to buy your books, but Tess Hunter isn't taking up anymore of my time.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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